Day 9

Today's Notes:

I was feeling pretty bad this morning - partly because of a bit of leftover "ick" from last night, and partly because I skipped the workout last night. Then, things just got... Worse.

I won't bore you with details. All I will tell you is that some people I really thought I knew and trusted gave me a healthy dose of "you will NEVER make this happen" today.

Now, I didn't expect everyone who found out about this to be supportive - but I've been happily surprised to hear from some people whom I expected to be negative who ended up being very encouraging about the whole endeavor.

The flip side is that I found out today that some people I expected to be incredibly supportive ended up being exactly opposite of that. And you know something?

It doesn't feel too good to be wrong about people you think you know.

What's worse, I'm that kind of person who takes "You can't do this" to heart. I hear it come out of most peoples' mouths and I usually just ignore it... But when it comes from the "insiders" it hits. HARD.

I reached a weird point this afternoon - it's the peak of a very high and sloping curve that runs two ways. On the one side, you have forward movement, advancement, achievement and momentum. On the other side, you have all the backwards-moving forces... Depression. Self-doubt. All the gnarly things that, if you let them, people will throw at you and hopefully hold you down with.

I started sliding backwards down that one slope, the one we all know and hate - then somewhere just past the first few meters, I stopped myself. I decided to claw my way back up and turn all this negative into positive. And I had one of the best damn workouts I've had since I was in college that one year.

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The Workouts:
(You can read descriptions for all of these exercises here)


Morning Session (drills)

I coupled my "drills" in with my weights today. See below.

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Evening Session (weights):

Wednesday: Chest + Tricep day, crazy blitzo nutjob workout

Bench Press - 4 sets: 1 set x 20 reps @ 135lbs, 4 sets x 12 reps @ 245lbs

Incline Bench Press - 3 sets x 12 reps @205 lbs
SUPERSET with: Reverse Overhead Tricep Curl (cable) - 3 sets x 12 reps @ 87.5 lbs

Decline Bench Press - 3 sets x 12 reps @ 205 lbs
SUPERSET with: Tricep Extension (cable) - 3 sets x 12 reps @ 95 lbs

Dumbbell Flys - 3 sets x 15 reps @ 45 lbs (per hand)
SUPERSET with: Skullcrushers - 3 sets x 15 reps @ 65 lbs (bar)

11 Stair sprints
2 mile run
25 box jumps


HOW I FEEL:

Right now? Like I could rip the world in half, and then do it again if asked. I just did a full interval workout with heavier weight and more reps than I've done in YEARS.

All I can say is that I'm no longer interested in just "seeing what happens" anymore... Not after the workout I just had. If I don't make this team, it'll be because someone was better - not because I wasn't good enough. And there IS a difference.

Let me be honest: I knew there would be doubters. I knew there would be laughing and pointing and giggling and whatnot... And I really am fine with it. I'm not angry about it. It just fuels me.

I've never let anyone be right about my not being able to do something. I'll be damned if I start now. I don't hate them. It's not their fault.

People who tell you that you can't achieve your dreams are simply too weak to follow their own.